


I've got you

by NatalieRyan



Series: Whumptober 2020 [7]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: AU, Angst, Au of 4x11, Day 7, Emotional Whump, Gen, Insomnia, Jack didn't leave, Mac Whump, Neck Wound, Sleep Deprivation, Whump, Whumptober 2020, he was just not around for the events, mention of events that happen in 4x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26882113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan
Summary: Mac felt pretty much like one of those hamsters Jack said lived in his brain, and was spinning in circles that led to nowhere. Nothing stuck. No experiment was enough to hold his attention, and his brain unhelpfully supplied him with possible scenarios about his plan failing.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Whumptober 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948579
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	I've got you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [N1ghtshade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/gifts).



> Today's story is an AU of 4x11 (you can think of an AU of the whole season up to this point, because I've mentioned several events from other episodes, mainly 4x10) where Jack hadn't left, he was just on another mission. Plus one of the most whumpy moments with that cut and they didn't even keep in in 4x12 and 4x13 (magical healing of cuts, anyone?)  
> So I gave my boys some comfort and Mac to finally rest, because man, Mac was so beyond burnout throughout the whole season, my heart aches for him.  
> There's a tiny reference to one of N1ghtshade's stories at the start of the story.  
> Thank you N1ghtshade for the brainstorming on this one, and for helping me out with the beta.  
> Enjoy!

Mac couldn't sleep. It wasn't anything new, ever since the Phoenix got back together and they discovered the group that tried to make their lives hell, called Codex existed and kept them on their toes, it was as if a switch was flipped and Mac was left to scramble and try to find a way to make this work. He knew he wouldn't hold on for much longer with no sleeping. 

Most days he got an hour or two before he tried to drag his butt to work and he was glad that Jack was there to pick up the pieces at the end of the day, because Mac was running on fumes and had no idea how he managed most days. 

Mac was aware that he needed to rest and recharge. He was working overtime and was kinda obsessed with catching Codex and figuring out what their plan was. In fact, he started to work on a plan of his own, and he wanted Jack to just come home so bad because he felt himself spiralling, he didn't know what he'd end up with as a plan.

Mac's plans were crazy at best, and this one might be the craziest of them all. 

Mac tossed and turned for the better part of the night. He tried to look away from the numbers on the clock. He told himself that it was so the light from the clock wouldn't get in his eyes, but the truth was that it was a reminder that he had only a few hours to get some sleep before work called again. 

He accidentally rubbed the side of his neck on his pillow and hissed as it pulled on the bandage. The wound was healing nicely, but it was still hurting. And if Mac wasn't wrong it was going to scar. Which wasn't something he gave much thought, he had plenty of scars. But it was the placement that made him self conscious. And how it looked like so that's why he opted out of keeping it uncovered. 

(It looked like a hickey to the untrained eye and last time he left the house with bruises around his neck, he had nightmares for a week and Jack had to threaten the guys to leave him alone). 

Speaking of Jack, he took longer to come home this time. For a while Mac thought that it was intentional that he and Jack got separated on missions, but after a while he filed that away to the back of his head. He didn't want to argue with his dad, he had no idea if Russ would take it well, and at the end of the day he didn't want to sound like a whiny kid or get Jack fired by any chance. It wasn't like they didn't work together anymore, but there was something that didn't sit well with Mac with how things played out. 

Or maybe his thoughts were too jumbled and he should have thought over it once he had some rest. 

Which didn't come. 

He tried everything he knew about helping with his insomnia. The melatonin, the counting sheep, even as far as having scented candles lit in his room (to which he was thankful Jack wasn't around because he ended up burning the corner of his bedsheets). 

Nothing helped, and he wondered if it was all set in motion with Jack leaving on that mission that stretched to no end. He just wanted Jack back. He needed his anchor because he wasn't sure, but he might have been steadily cruising to insanity. 

Or maybe that was his undercover Mac talking as he was with the Merchant in the fake prison. 

Russ had too much fun directing the setting, Mac probably should have talked to him about it. But he wasn't sure how it would be looked at, coming from Mac, who had been using the last dregs of fuel to survive long enough just so he could repeat the same things over and over again. 

Mac felt pretty much like one of those hamsters Jack said lived in his brain, and was spinning in circles that led to nowhere. Nothing stuck. No experiment was enough to hold his attention, and his brain unhelpfully supplied him with possible scenarios about his plan failing.

It hadn't happened since he was a kid, and Mac chalked it up on to his father dying recently that the feeling of failure was back. When he was a kid and he tried to give his best, his father always said to him that if he aimed for everything less than perfection, that he didn't give his best. And that Mac wasn't just an average kid. He was meant to do great things. Which little Mac saw as a normal thing and he was constantly in fear afterwards. 

Mac sometimes wished that he was indeed average because being too smart for his own good got him in so much trouble over the years. That was until he met Jack. 

Jack immediately recognized that and worked with Mac to make him realize that sometimes average was the best action. And even if it was below average, Mac made miracles out of chewing gum and paper clips so why bother with perfection when they got a genius? It took a while for Jack to start crumbling those walls, and for Mac to realize that he was enough with whatever he got. And on some days it was enough to have only a little to get by.

Mac turned around in bed again, careful not to pull on the cut and eyed the compass on the dresser. Jack was gone on one of his separate missions then as well and he was livid when he learned Matty suggested the DMT and Mac accepted it. What Jack didn't know was that Mac accepted mostly to just escape the real world for a bit, to sleep, even if it was under the influence of a drug that was sketchy at its best. It took awhile for Jack to calm himself and Mac regretted his decision when he saw how worried Jack was over him. Somewhere along the way his brain told him that Jack wouldn't mind and that Jack trusted his decisions. But that decision wasn't made with all four cylinders in the game... and Mac realized that too late. That trip in his head was all kinds of wrong, from seeing Donnie Sandoz to his mom saying that he didn't like onions when in fact Mac did like them. It was really weird and he had to admit to himself that the dark version of himself that he kept seeing ever since then was leaving him with a vile taste in his mouth. Mac was unsettled and he knew the longer he was going without sleep, the more his mind would play tricks on him. 

Mac looked at himself in the mirror just before he went to bed, and the face staring back at him was one he almost didn't recognize. He looked gaunt and exhausted. Tired was several months ago.

Now it was... Mac didn't even have a word about what it was. He wished he knew how to turn his brain off. 

He gave up on sleep right as 3am rolled in. He didn't want to resort to one of the drastic measures like getting drunk just to get a few hours of sleep. Jack would have his hide if he learned that Mac drank by himself on purpose. 

There was a sound like thumping coming from down the hall. At first Mac thought his mind made up the sound. But then he heard it again. 

He rubbed at his bleary eyes and tried to adjust in the dark. He didn't want to turn on the lamp so he used the light from the overhead sign to navigate around the room. He stumbled into the living room and his body almost sagged in relief because there stood Jack. He was home. 

…

Jack couldn't wait to get home to his kid. He moved in recently after Mac, with a moping face directors would pay to have in their movies to play a grieving character, came to him with the proposition. He could tell that the kid was insecure about the suggestion and from the looks of it was ready for Jack to say no. And Jack liked his own space. A lot. But Mac's house was home in no way his apartment ever was so Jack took advantage of that fact and said yes. It wasn't like Mac's house couldn't use some more clutter, though. Now his cigar box with Jack Sr.'s dog tags were proudly displayed on the mantelpiece after Mac just put it there, saying it would fit the decor. Jack hadn't had the heart to say anything in return because his eyes filled with tears about how this simple gesture was making him so happy he wanted to cry. 

The kid had changed, though. Jack didn't know what it was or how to figure out the problem so he could fix it, but Mac was bothered by something that Jack was itching to find a solution for.

The last few months were a mess, and Jack suspected that the appearance of Codex, Russ Taylor buying the Phoenix and James' death weighed heavily on the kid. They didn't speak too much about what was going on through Mac's head, but Jack was sure that some of it had to do with Jack being absent a lot. It wasn't his fault, though. That didn't stop Jack from feeling guilty over it. He was damn good at his job even when it didn't involve his gun or fists and Matty knew that. It was why Jack advanced so much in the CIA before he had too much and left for good. But he liked his job at the Phoenix and lately it felt like he didn't do it enough. Because his job was to save the world, but the original job, the one he prided himself with, was watching Mac's back. And in the last few months they were more and more separated on the field. Jack didn't like that. He was gearing up to face Matty and Russ one of these days. It was enough to see Mac look like a kicked puppy whenever Jack picked up his overnight bag that sometimes wasn't enough because he usually ended up on a whole other mission and by the time he came home, Mac was either on a job himself or Jack was too tired to do anything. 

They hadn’t watched a movie together in ages and practically lived on takeout because Jack didn't have the strength to cook and Mac was... well Mac was better out of the kitchen unless it was for fixing the appliances. 

And there was the fact that Mac wasn't sleeping. 

Jack hoped that at least tonight Mac would get some sleep knowing Jack was coming back home. He locked the door behind himself and armed the system with his code. He finally convinced Mac to get an alarm system and he was more than grateful for it whenever he was somewhere because he had it connected to his phone. 

Jack also missed Mac using his phone for doohickeys as weird as that sounded. 

He left his go bag next to the door and placed his keys in the bowl when he felt steps coming from the direction of Mac's room. 

So much for sleeping. 

Mac looked up like a deer in the headlights, like he didn't expect Jack and that was weird in and of itself, but what was even more weird was the bandage on Mac's neck that caught Jack's attention. 

Mac closed his hand around it self consciously and looked so frail and vulnerable that Jack's caring instincts surged full force. He was going to talk to Matty come morning. This was the end of his impromptu ops. He was done being away from his kid. 

"Hey, hoss." 

"Hey, Jack." 

"I assume you didn't get my message?" 

"Um, no... I didn't check my phone. We, uh... we kinda had an op and I forgot to even charge it. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. C'mere." 

Jack opened his arms and Mac all but threw himself in Jack's embrace. 

"Missed you so much." 

Mac's breath hitched and Jack realized that Mac must have been strung high and burning the candle on both ends to just give in like this. Not that he didn't hug Jack often or indulging in Jack's needs for a quick hug or a comforting touch, but this was different. 

"Hey, hey, I'm here. I'm home. Missed you, too." 

Mac didn't make a move to get out from the hug, but he sort of slumped and Jack held his weight as well as he let Mac take what he needed from it. He felt Mac sniffle, but he didn't mention it. After a while his back twinged in pain to remind him he stood up for too long without moving. 

"What do you say to move this to the couch, buddy? As much as I like to hug you, my back doesn't like me standing for too long." 

Mac pulled out like burned and if Jack wasn’t standing so close to him, Mac would have hit the floor. 

"Easy, bud. Don't hurt yourself on my account. Here, let's get you settled. I'll go and grab a quick shower then we can pick up where we left off, okay?" 

"'Kay." 

The kid sounded like he was headed to sleep, and Jack would have been the happiest to see Mac sleep. If he could only get Mac to calm down enough to shut his brain down for the night. 

Jack took the quickest shower in history and by the time he was back to the living room, he found Mac snoring softly and he didn't have the heart to wake him up. Jack just picked Mac up and carried him to his room.

Halfway there Mac opened his eyes but didn't protest being carried, he just snuggled into Jack. Jack placed him on the bed, careful not to jostle him too much. And then he was promptly pulled to sit on the bed.

"Stay, please." 

Mac was pleading, and Jack just nodded, unable to take his eyes from Mac's neck now that the stark white of the bandage stood out against the dark of the room. 

"What happened, hoss?" 

It was clear that Mac wasn't going to sleep any time soon, so Jack thought it was the best time to rip the band aid off. At least figuratively. 

Mac sighed and slowly peeled off the bandage. Jack bit his lip at the huge gash that was more or less starting to heal. Still, it looked rough and painful and jagged and it hurt Jack to know Mac got hurt without him around to have his back. 

"We finally located the Merchant at a cafe. I was there to observe it all. Didn't figure the woman next to me at the bar was one of his people. She broke a bottle and stabbed me before I knew what was happening. Thankfully, Desi came to my aid immediately. Our intel wasn't complete." 

"Mhm." 

Jack didn't know what to say to that. He should have been there for one. Then maybe he would have tried to get some sense into his kids about the risks with as little intel as possible. And when it came to Codex, they had to be careful. 

He exhaled. Jack knew that Desi did her best to protect Mac on the field. He wouldn't hold this over her head. 

"Does it hurt?" 

"A little." 

"You still have that salve from when I got that nasty cut when I fell from the ladder?" 

"Yeah. It's in the second drawer." 

Jack opened the drawer and gently rubbed some of it on Mac's wound. Mac relaxed minutely and Jack kept running his hand over Mac's shoulder and tried to release the tension he felt there. 

"Better?" 

"Mmm. Thanks." 

"Don't mention it. Sorry I wasn't there, hoss." 

"Not your fault." Mac blinked to keep his eyes open and Jack wasn't sure if he should have continued talking or leave Mac to get some sleep. 

"What is it?" 

He should have known Mac would catch up on his silence. 

"All this running around, chasing tails that may or may not lead to anything important. This time it was an old informant from my CIA days. He was supposed to give me some intel, you know, go there, meet him, exchange information and then come home. We ended up running an op based on the intel and that stretched my stay. Sorry." 

"As long as you come home safely, it's okay." 

But Jack could hear the hesitation. Mac didn't want him to go on these missions. But he was afraid to say it. 

"I'll talk to Matty. Let her know that from now on I'm done with this. I belong by your side in the field." 

"No, Jack. You don't have to do it just because of me." 

And he sounded so dejected, Jack wanted to punch something.

"You are my first priority, kid. No matter what." 

"But..." 

"No buts. I don't give a damn if this job actually keeps me away from you. You know us, Mac. We are in this together." 

Mac sighed and burrowed more into the pillow and Jack had to stifle the urge to run his hands through Mac's hair and get that wayward strand that always got into Mac's eyes.

"We can talk about it more after we get some sleep, okay?" 

"What about work?" Mac mumbled with closed eyes and Jack's heart swelled with the love he felt for Mac. 

"I think we deserve a day off, buddy." 

"Okay." 

Mac sounded like a little kid, and looked like one, lying in bed, almost asleep. So young. 

Jack went to get up, but was stopped once again by Mac's hand on his thigh. Without disturbing his partner much, Jack settled in on the other side of the bed and Mac just snuggled into him. 

It didn't take long for Mac to finally fall asleep. Jack smiled and let Mac rest. 

"Sleep tight, kiddo. Jack's gotcha."

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
